


102 (Larry Stylinson)

by Blinded_Harry



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Anal, Drugs, High School, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Kinks, M/M, Sexual Content, University, uhm idk I'll mention in further chapters, what else?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-10
Updated: 2017-07-06
Packaged: 2018-07-22 16:54:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 18,145
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7446715
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Blinded_Harry/pseuds/Blinded_Harry
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Based off the song 102 by Matty Healy or<br/>An AU where Louis knocks on the wrong door and Harry answers. Which leads to misadventures and parties, relationships and puppy owning?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Smoked Six of the Ten Fags.

**Author's Note:**

  * For [SS98](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SS98/gifts).



> I'll always add additional tags in these notes okay? I'm sorry if anything I write triggers or anything. I don't condone or support anything the characters do.

I always thought getting drunk and smoking alone was pathetic when people did it. They really had have to been so alone if they could actually do that and stare at a wall, counting the cracks on the ceiling. It really was pathetic, until I did it myself. It wasn't pathetic at all, it was relaxing; unnerving. You didn't need someone to get drunk with just to have fun. You still felt the same way as if you were with someone, it felt the same fucking way. 

It wasn't pathetic that I had already smoked six of the ten fags that I only bought an hour ago. It felt good to just let loose that much. If you needed it, it wasn't pathetic. I thought it would feel so different if I was alone like I am right now. Staring at my checkered vans on the floor a foot away, and remembering that the red smudge on them was from when I stepped on Eleanor's lipstick. I thought it would feel different. 

It didn't. That somehow was the pathetic thing. That made it pathetic so much that I couldn't stand being alone anymore, I wanted to get drunk at a party instead of in my living room. I wanted to smoke all my cigs with a group of friends, with Zayn and Calum. Maybe even Perrie because she likes that kind of thing. It would feel the same. Just a lot less lonely. 

So instead of sitting here I grabbed my checkered vans and my car keys. I looked in the mirror and saw my hair all disheveled and gave not one, but no shits about it. I pulled on a denim jacket and pulled a black beanie over my head. Covering my ears and letting a bit of hair stick out. Stuffing a 20 bill in my pocket along with my cigarettes I opened my door and went. 

_Wise men say only fools rush in, but I can't help falling in love with you..  
Shall I stay? Would it be a sin? If I can't help falling in love with you. _

Humming along to Twenty One Pilots I stopped at a red light. My eyes blinked rapidly to push away the drowsiness that came from getting drunk and not continuing. A kid with a fedora and a flannel passed by the front of my car riding a skateboard with someone following not long after. The one after him was wearing a OF sweater and had a hooka pen in his mouth and puffed out the vapor into the damp night. I wish I was like that when I was younger they look really cool. 

Honestly who cares about being cool. 

As I drove towards Oli's apartment building, my hand twitched a bit and I knew it was time for another cigarette. Even if I know I shouldn't. I can hold off. 

_Can you?_

Ignoring the voice in my head I nibble on the inside of my top lip. Staring at the road seems so much harder now that I know my cigarette pack is in my pocket, sitting there. Wanting to be smoked. No you can handle this. 

_Can you though?_

You know what, that voice isn't helping even if it's just my conscious. Finally pulling into Oli's building I let out a happy sigh and park my car. Getting out I quickly go to the parking lot elevator and smile because I hate being alone. That's such a bad idea to choose. I know Oli's having a party today so I'm ready. I can get wasted with people. Don't you love people? 

When I reach for the buttons I look at the floor orderings. 

A- The lobby.  
B- Apt. 100-107  
C- Apt. 108-115  
D- Apt. 116-123  
and so on. 

I know Oli's apartment has a 2 in it so I'll go with 102 first since it's the closest and if it isn't... Then oh well. I click B and wait patiently to arrive to the floor. This elevator music sucks, oh my god. I tap my foot and scratch at my smiley face tattoo, I just got it redone and its a bit scabbed over. 

_Ping._

I step out the elevator and make a left because that's what the sign said to do. I get to room 102 and knock, I don't hear any music, was his apartment sound proof?

"Hello?" The answer is no it isn't because it's not Oli who opens the door. It's a tall lad with curls. His eyes are this vibrant green and his cheekbones are prominent along with his dimples at the moment. He's wearing a grey sweater with joggers on, he had such long legs and broad shoulders, the perfect attire to sleep in. "You know m-most people don't check someone out when they're in sweats..."

Oh fuck his accent is so thick. Wait, doesn't everyone check a person out when they first meet, just to get to know them. By what they're wearing and what face expression they have, it helps. 

"Well not most people look good in sweats...?" I say smugly and end it off with a question, he never said his name. Ignoring his rose tinted cheeks he puffs some air out with a small smile. 

"Harry." He lets out and I smile, his hair falls in his face, and he doesn't move to change that. 

I quirk my lip up and make a click noise. "Well I'm Louis, and I'm sorry for bothering you at this hour, love, yet it happens to seem I came to the wrong apartment. Do you know where Oli lives?" I ask and lock my hands behind my back. His soft pink lips form into a quick small smile, he's always smiling. 

"I do, he lives right above me in 112. He's having a party, like you said, because I can hear all of it." Harry says and scratches the back of his neck. I nod and bite my lip. 

"Would you like to join me?" I offer and he giggles. _Giggles._

"You know, I would love to," He says and looks back as his apartment. "But I got some stuff to do here so thank you for the offer." He tilts his head and shrugs, oh ok. 

"No it's fine love," I say. "Thank you for helping, I'll see you around?" Hoping he says yes he looks at me and smiles, dimples and all. 

"Yeah, of course." He says. The way he says 'of course' makes him seem so sure, I hope so. 

+  
*Narrator's POV*

 

"Alright who wants to get stoned?" Oli yells as he laughs. Louis looks at him and chuckles from the couch. His apartment is average. It's two rooms with two bathrooms, a kitchen and a laundry room. With a living room along with a balcony opening across the room when you walk in through the door. 

"Alright pass me a roll." Louis sighs and takes off his beanie. Oli hands him a blunt and he quickly lights it up with his favorite lighter, it's black and has a pair of white angel wings carved on the left side. It's plain and simple, just the way he likes it. 

"Alright, who wants to take shots?" A feminine voice says. Looking up Louis sees Perrie wearing a purple knitted sweater with leggings, her feet covered in fuzzy white socks. Where are her shoes? She looks at them expectantly and her blonde ponytail with black roots swing from side to side. "No?"

"I'll take one." Louis says getting up and take a huge breath of Mary Jane, it fuzzes up the lad's head instantly and he blinks rapidly. 'Wow this is some good shit, who's Oli's dealer again?' Louis thinks. Putting the blunt down he follows after Perrie to the small opening, which is the kitchen. He has granite counter tops with white cupboards. Everything is silver if they're appliances; the stove, sink, fridge and so on. People scatter the kitchen, he knows all of them.

Perrie walks over to the fridge and pulls out the pineapple vodka and grabs some shot glasses from the third cupboard from the fridge on the right side. "Alright this sorta has a kick to it, I got buzzed with one shot of this the last time." She laughs and Louis nods. 

I wonder how Harry is, could he take shots and smoke Mary Jane with me? Would he want to? Louis' head gets congested with wants and woulds so he stares at Perrie as she fills up the shot glasses with the slightly yellow liquid. "So who's Oli's dealer?" Louis asks her and she frowns at him. 

"I thought you were quitting all that, the marijuana and cigarettes?" She questions him and he looks at her in confusion. 

"Obviously I'm not if I just smoked a blunt and smoked quite a few cigs today." He says sarcastically and throws his hands up. His smiley face tattoo itches again. 

"Fine whatever, and it's Zayn. Like it's always been." She sighs and hands him his shot. "To getting over addictions." She says and Louis rolls his eyes but they both tip their heads back and drink the vodka. A feeling of drinking pineapple mouth wash floods Louis' tastebuds and burns a trail down his throat. That was strong, holy. 

"I'm glad you got over yours." He says to Perrie and she looks at him with such emotion. "It's hard giving up heroin, I'm really glad you did because we wouldn't be taking shots together right now. Or have gone to the amusement park last month. I'm so fucking glad you're here." Louis rambles and she walks around and pulls him into a hug. 

"I'm glad I'm here too, it's all because of you guys." She laughs. "So let's not be sappy and go join the rest in beer pong, yeah?" She takes Louis' hand and leads him to the balcony. This is a bad place to play beer pong, they could easily lose the ball if it fell. 

"Yo, Louis! Perrie!" Eleanor laughs and walks over. She tugs them into hugs and pushes them away. "Let the games begin!" She chants and the rest cheer. 

By the rest, it means Zayn, Niall, Liam, Ashton, Sophia, Luke, Calum, Danielle, Gigi, Oli and this girl named Briana, Louis doesn't know her yet. Those are who are outside, the people inside are all people Louis probably went to high school with and sorta go to university with too. 

The game gets intense instantly and Louis keeps thinking about Harry. Wondering if he would play beer pong and if he would be Louis' partner. If he would kiss and hug him if they won like Zayn and Liam do when they win. 

"It's Louis and Perrie against Niall and Sophia!" Zayn yells in an American accent as if he's a soccer announcer. "They both only have one cup let, will Niall go under the table today?" He laughs and Niall flips him off. 

"It's not my fault I haven't made any!" Niall whines and takes a swig of his beer. 

"Yes it is, I'm doing all the work here you leprechaun, aren't you supposed to be good luck?" Sophia yells waving her hands in the air trying to to distract Louis as he's aiming for the last cup. 

Louis sticks his tongue out and flicks his wrist. The ball curves perfectly and Niall smacks it. "WHAT NO!" Perrie screams. "YOU CAN'T DO THAT!" 

"AW NO!" Zayn yells. "The leprechaun has done it again, he ruined the game. You can't touch the ball while its in play, it's rules. Rules are rules!" He says and sticks his finger in the game. 

"You're officially cut off!" Luke, Ashton, Calum and Liam say at the same time. 

"You're a fucker. I'm done with you, this is why we can't ever be partners!" Sophia yells as Perrie is doing a victory dance and Louis is making a beat for her. Even if there's already music. 

He can't help but laugh and think about if Harry was there. Yet he's downstairs in Apt. 102 doing who knows what?

Louis wish he knew.


	2. I Like the Look of Your Shoes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mentions of drug use, and alcohol. Abuse is mentioned but I don't think I actaully used physical abuse, verbal more like it.

I shouldn't have smoked another blunt. No, no I should have not. I laugh and lean my head back to hit something hard. Ow, that hurt. "Louis sit up you big oaf." Tilting up more I gaze up at Perrie, she looks mad. 

"Why you frownie Perrie?" I try to rhyme but fail miserably and she laughs, a small one though. Is she okay? "What's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong," She simply states and picks at her nail. "Nothing is." Perrie looks up and bites her lip. 

"Perra Perra lee lee?" I sing and she smiles and looks down at me. What happened, I didn't even pass out, I was just over here in the living room with Niall. Then Zayn pulled out a bag with some Mary and then here we are now. I didn't pass out? 

Wait did I?

"Louis I'm fine, I just got a drink spilled on me and got aggravated. I'm fine." She reassures me and I nod. Slowly getting up I tip over and a pair of inked hands catch me. Wow, the room looks a bit swig-ly, hah that's a funny word. 

"Steady mate," Liam laughs and straightens me. Why's he touching me, he's not Harry. I want Harry's hands on me. Harry. I should go see Harry. 

"Where're you going, Lou?" Perrie asks from the sofa and I nod my head as if I answered her. "You're not driving home, just stay the night like everyone else." 

"I know that Perrie-bear I'll be right back, promise." I grumble and strip off my jacket, throwing it on the couch I make my way to the door. I ruffle my hair, where'd I leave my beanie? Who cares? 

I finally make it to the hallway and laugh, oh my god, where am I going again?

_Harry._

"Right right Harry," I say and itch my wrist. "Harry's cute, I think I like Harry already." Laughing I look at the picture of some old guy they have in the elevator. 

"Well hey buddy!" I put my hand on the picture and the elevator pings. I step out after saying goodbye to the old man, I mean I didn't want to be rude or anything. He seemed nice so I'll be nice back. 

Knocking on Harry's door I wait, he should be up still, it's like two am. Not that late, right?

*Harry's POV*

Tapping my pencil on the notebook set in front of me I look up at my laptop screen. My eyes instantly droop and I shake my head and let out a sigh, why are Fridays always lonely? 

My ear twitches from hearing the slow thrum of music upstairs, the faint smell of alcohol and smoke drift through my opened balcony. The curtains I have hung up sway slightly and I can see the mark of paint Mikey left on them. Him being his clumsy self spilled paint when he made a prom poster to ask out Calum, which he never went through with I think. He never told me. 

I look back at my lit screen and see literature scatter it as if waiting for me to grab them and make them have purpose. Looking at the clock, it stares back at me reminding me time is a thing everyone wastes but adores so much. I'm not adoring it right now, may I add. I push up my glasses and sigh again. 

"What's a person got to do to get excitement around here-" I get cut off when there's a timid knock at my door. I furrow my brows and get up. I pull my sweater down to cover my bare legs, it gets hot ok?

Pulling open the door I see an unfamiliar head of hair but a familiar color. A pair of bright blue eyes, a little button nose and a loopy smile. His arms show off many tattoos and his veins are prominent, his torso and legs short but curvy. "You know most people don't check people out when they're stoned. It's not polite, you could be taking advantage of me." He says and I let a small smile curve my lips. Louis. 

"Well you're pretty cute stoned?" I offer and he laughs. His laugh is really cute, wait no I shouldn't say that. Nick might get mad if I'm even thinking that, Louis shouldn't be here. "Uh, w-what are you doing here?" 

"I'm here to see you, I missed you." He states and pouts. "Those people upstairs only like me when I'm high or drunk." 

"I don't think that's t-true." Lifting my hands to my neck I look down the hallways. Empty. "Did you want to come in t-then?" He instantly smiles again and nods. 

"Yes please." I let him in not thinking if Nick would later smell the faint scent of marijuana that Louis carried with him. I sorta liked it, Nick always smelt like expensive cologne and sometimes it was too much when we would cuddle, even if we hardly did that... "I like the look of your shoes." Louis says as he stares at my boots alined by my wall, he walks towards the couch. 

"Thank you. It's not m-much, I know." Louis picks up a throw pillow off my couch and just sits down. He doesn't look around, there's not much to look at, but he stares at me. That somehow is telling me he has respect, I don't know how but it does. I'll figure it out. I'll figure him out. 

"Come here," He says and lifts a hand to me. I'm highly aware of me being in only my sweater and walk over slowly. Making sure nothing rolls up and he sees more than he should, then he wanted. "You're really pretty Harry." He simply says. 

Confused I stare at him. I'm pretty? Yeah he must be pretty high, Nick always said I was hot and sexy. Never, pretty. Or anything that means more than just the surface a person hold. Hot, sexy and even handsome that's just the surface, that explains the looks. Yet, beautiful, amazing, pretty means _more_. It means that person has a depth to them, yeah a person could look beautiful but for them to be beautiful is a whole different meaning. Louis thinks I'm pretty. 

I take a deep breath and sit down, I just sit. "So so pretty." Louis continues and I tilt my head at him. 

"Would you like any-anything?" He shakes his head. "Tea? Or are you a coffee person? I prefer either, I mean they're both gre-" I get cut off with Louis touching my cheek. I lick my lips and I stare at him. His eyes flicker to my lips and then back to my eyes. Blue to green, somehow that seems poetic as hell. 

"I really want to kiss you, that's what I want." Louis says and I put my hand on top of his. I can feel the difference instantly, my hands are soft and large where his are barely smaller but rougher. His knuckles hard and rough against the inside of my palm. 

"Then why don't you?" I say, Nick isn't here. He's been gone and he hasn't even tried calling. He won't need to know right? 

"I feel like I can't." He says, his breath hot against my lips yet it seems to cool down my nerves that twitch in hands. He cools the rush of my blood that thrums rapidly at the idea of him kissing me. 

"Why?" My voice sounds strained, a whine. 

"You're thinking of someone else." He states and I'm shocked. What does he mean by that? Why is Nick coming up even if he's not here. "I know you don't want them anymore, though."

"I don't."  I agree. My tongues pokes out and wets my lips. 

"But you aren't over them." He says and I want to groan. Why is he acting like this, why doesn't he just kiss me. This is my choice to regret, even if I might never. I couldn't. 

"Lou, please." I sigh. "He doesn't treat me right, just please." I beg and close my eyes. I feel his lips ghost mine. 

"You are worth so much more than this, but fuck it." I'm about to open my eyes when I feel lips press mine. The feeling of soft lips, cold and hesitant. 

I feel hands move to my hips and pull me closer. Louis sighs against my mouth and pulls away. We stare at each other. I blink and he blinks, I lean in and he does the same. Our lips move more feverish and I really want his tongue in my mouth, so I part my lips and he gets the idea. Louis' tongue traces the edges of my teeth and then licks the roof of my mouth. Holy shit, okay. 

"Lou," I say but it's probably muffled and indecipherable. The taste of marijuana and pineapple fill my senses. I push him back a bit and get to my knees on the plush coach. My knees dip as I move towards Louis as he detaches his mouth from mine and drags his lips down the side of my neck. Hands on my waist I move to straddle his hips. Hands around his neck, I get pulled down to his lap and he smashes his lips to mine again. He moans at the contact on his groin. His moan, dear lord, his moan. 

Licking into my mouth, my hands go from his neck to his hair. I tug a bit and Louis' hips buck up to mine and I let out a whine. He's hard, wow he's hard.  

"Lou, Louis." I try to pull away and he just kisses down my neck. "I'm sorry, I-I'm so sorry." Meekly I look at him through my lashes and I want to cry. I got him hard and I can't fix it. Nick will know, he's going to know. 

"Baby, you're doing great what's wrong?" Lou caresses my cheek and then down my neck. 

"My boyfriend, he's going to know!" My bottom lip quivers and Louis looks so lost and he looks like cares.  _He looks like he cares._ He doesn't even know my last name. Oh god. 

"I thought you said he didn't treat you right?" He asks and I nod. "Wait, what do you mean by that?" I shake my head and move off his lap. I feel my hands pull down my sweater, I feel my hard on too. 

"Maybe you should leave." I say and don't stutter. He needs to leave before his scent lingers and Nick gets mad. He can't be mad, we were doing good. 

"Love, what's wrong?" He asks again from the couch. I bite my lip and sigh. How do you tell someone you have cigarette burns down your spine? That you have bruises on your torso and along your arms?

"Just go. This was bad, very bad. " I add hoping Lou would hear and just leave. Can he just please leave. "I have homework and-"

"Homework? What grade are you in?" Louis asks. 

"I'm a senior." I stare and he looks shocked. 

"I'm 21, you're 18 at least right?" He says with hope in his eyes. 

"I am, yeah, but could you go?" I ask one more time and he stares at me. He finally nods and walks over to me, hand on my cheek he leans in, kissing my lips tenderly and walks past me. I hear the door open and close. Foot steps drift away softly, foot steps that made me happy. For the first time in months. 

I stand there until I hear footsteps again, much louder and faster. I hear my door open and close, expensive cologne fills in my nose. My heart clenches and it wants out of its cage. "Hey gorgeous." I feel lips on my neck and hands on my hips. I grimace on the inside and shake away my disgust. Louis felt better. 

Turning around I put on a big smile and kiss his cheek. "Hey Nicky, how was work?" I ask sweetly and instantly regret it. 

"You know my job. You know what I do. Why would you ask? What, you like knowing I sell drugs and fuck whores for a living?" Nick tells me and I shrink towards the couch. 

"No, I-I sometimes f-forget s'all." I quickly say and ignore the pain in my heart. 

"Well stop forgetting. Go to our room and stay there, I'm calling over Stan and Simon. Leave us alone. Yeah?" He looks at me expectantly. 

"I have an English assignment I need to-" Nick glares and I just nod. I grab my laptop and papers and quickly go to my room. Not his or ours, my room, I pay for this apartment. I shake my head and plug in my phone, turning on The 1975 and thinking about Louis. 

I wonder if he went home. I hope not, he seemed pretty stoned. He probably won't remember what happened. I hope he does though, so I can at least know I'm worth remembering. 

I am right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you liked it! Find me on Wattpad Blinded_Harry


	3. 3 I Like the Way Your Face Looks When I'm Arguin' With You.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hasn't been edited...

My face seems hot, my cheeks feel tight and the back of my neck has hair sticking to it. A taste of stale breath with alcohol lingers in my mouth and I feel a slight weight on my thigh. What the hell?

Sitting up I look around and see Perrie's head in my lap, I scratch my head. Sun beams shine through the windows and cast light in the living room. Liam is laying across the couch with Zayn curled in on him, Niall has his head by their feet but he's mostly on the floor. I look towards the door but all I see is Calum, Ashton and Luke sleeping on the carpet with pillows and Sophia has the love seat with Eleanor. When did we all fall asleep? I don't even remember most of last night. 

I move Perrie's head slightly and get up. I dust off my jeans and see one of our friends Olly passed out with red solo cups surrounded around him. I laugh a little and walk over to the kitchen. The journey there is filled with red solo cups and small margarita umbrellas on the floor. Everywhere I step you hear the shuffle of plastic on hardwood flooring and the crunch of umbrellas. My bare feet sorta stick to the floor and I groan, shit I don't want to wake anyone up. I look back at my friends scattering the living room and shake my head. 

Walking the route to the bathroom I stop at Oli's room, the door is a bit creaked open, a sliver of light cuts through the dark hallway. Dust particles drift in the air, I sneeze and quickly look into his room to see if I woke him. He has a blonde under his arm as they both sleep on their stomachs. Backs bare. It's probably that Brooke girl, or was it Bridget? I don't know. 

Finally walking to the bathroom I do my business and grab one of the extra toothbrushes under the sink. Wetting the toothbrush and then adding the mint toothpaste to the bristles, wetting it once more I put it in my mouth. Not doing that just seems weird. 

As I brush my teeth lazily and trying to scrub away the faint taste of alcohol, my mind reverts to what I remember. I continue to brush and I taste the mint more and it taste familiar. Not from other toothpastes but from... HARRY. 

It tastes like Harry, holy shit. 

Flashes of me gripping his hips and him straddling me, his lips on mine. Then him getting off me and crying over his boyfriend. It all floods into my mind without warning and I'm spitting out the paste and rinsing my mouth. Running to the living room I quickly grab my shoes and pull them on. Someone calls my name but I don't give a shit. I need to talk to Harry. 

_He doesn't treat me right._

Fuck, what did he mean by that? Did his boyfriend cheat? Did he leave him alone a lot? Fuck, did he abuse him? The last thought makes me clench my fist, fuck if he boyfriend laid a hand on him. 

_Lou, please._

I finally reach his room and I stop seeing a guy with blonde hair walk out. It's definitely dyed, and he's wearing all black. He has bags under his eyes and he just screams addict. 

Is that his boyfriend? What's Harry doing with a guy like that? Ugh so many questions just jumble in my head like a game of boggle and I try to pick out words. I come out fruitless, I know nothing.

The guy walks past me and doesn't even give me a second look. He reaches the elevator and it closes and all the tension in my muscles go down with it. Walking over to 102 I knock lightly and the door opens quickly. "Did you seriously forget something, I told you to just lea-... Louis?" 

Harry has a frown etched on his face, he still looks so pretty and so, so soft. He has a white tshirt on with a pair of black sweats. His hair falls to one side and I have the urge to sweep away the piece of hair that's caught on his lip. Those soft plump lips. "Yeah, uh can we talk?" 

"I don't know, uhm." He says and looks over my left shoulder. "Just c-come in." Harry decides as I see an internal battle in the way his forehead crinkles. What's he so worked up about? About last night? Does he regret it, I sure as hell don't. 

Closing the door behind me, I go straight to his balcony and he seems hesitant to follow. He has those little cactuses and aloe plants sitting along the edges of his balcony. You see other building from this view, along with a park that's just a block away. I keep my eyes set on him as he stays by the doors, his white curtains fan around him as he strains his neck to see over the balcony. "Why don't you just come over here to see better?" I ask him. 

"No," He says quickly. "He might see, I can't let that happen. Sorry." He's quick to apologize and I frown at him now. Why does he care so much about what his boyfriend thinks, what's going on?

"Ok whatever. About the kiss, we really-" Harry walks over to me and grabs my shoulders. The wind blows softly, but I feel like it can take me away like I'm a piece of paper. I feel weightless, as he has his hands on me. My mind fogs over as if Harry is the mist in the morning when it's winter. Completely blinding me, but I can feel. I feel so much. 

"That's to never happen again, I mean I want it to, but Nick." He says looking me in the eye. "Nick will know, he'll know and he'll come after you. I can't have that." He rambles on and I'm so confused. What is this 'Nick' capable of?

"So Nick, your boyfriend?" I ask and he nods. "Will hurt me?" I ask again and he thinks a bit and shrugs. 

"I don't know if he'll hurt you himself but he k-knows people. I know t-them, I know w-what they're capable of-" I stop him there. 

"You know? How do you know, Harry do they hurt you?" I simply ask, it's easy as that. 

At least it should be, but the way Harry's face crumbles. So does my hope.

*Narrator's POV* 

Both of the boys stare at one another. Louis is lost at breath and Harry is breathing too much. Blue eyes are unblinking and green eyes are blinking, fighting away tears. 

"Can I kill him?" Louis says quietly and Harry lets out a little laugh. It's way more complicated than that and he really doesn't want Louis to get locked up for murder. 

"Lou, there are some things I wish I never did," Harry says. "Staying with him is one. Yet, he's all I've ever had these past years." Louis looks at him and grabs his hips. 

"You're only eighteen, you have so much to go for and how many years?" The older boy is shocked, he's confused. He's angry but he's so intrigued with this curly haired broken boy with hidden bruises. Yet he looks so beautiful, the kind of beautiful that makes people glad to be living and breathing next to them. To be _amongst_ them. That's a fucking gift itself and Louis thinks Harry is such a fucking gift. 

"W-well, I've known h-him since I was in eighth grade. We've been dating since tenth. So five years. He's a-all I have Lou." Harry whimpers and Louis just wants to hug the hell out of Harry. He wants to show him he's so worth it. 

"You need to leave him," Before more words can leave Lou's mouth Harry pushes him away. 

"No! I get why you would say t-that, you think I'm delusional. I'm not, I know w-what he does is bad, but he's all I got. My family, f-fuck my family, they weren't even there. T-they aren't h-here now. He... I don't know why I J-just don't want to be alone." Harry's sobbing now. Louis pulls him in for a hug and keeps Harry pressed against him. He can't help but like the way Harry face looks when he argues, his lips seems darker from him biting them. His eyes a shade brighter. 

Louis wants to tell him Nick is bad but it seems Harry knows that himself. He knows. How do you tell one to leave someone who they know is bad but they're staying anyway? Louis doesn't know how to deal with this, Perrie was bad but he knew her. They grew up together and she had all of them. Harry could have them too, he knows he can. 

"Harry you have me now. I'll help. I'll do what I can. Fuck let me help you. My friends, they won't mind meeting you and helping. Nick won't stand a chance, we know people too." Louis quickly says and Harry nods. "You won't be alone with us." Lou says and Harry pulls away and looks at him. 

"You're sure?" Harry says with tears in his eyes. God this feels like a movie scene, Louis thinks. This shit should only happen in movies, the person you trust should never hurt you. That's wrong. That's not love. That's not trust. It's, inhuman, it's what makes this world such a fucked up place to exist in. 

"I'm so sure babe, you won't feel alone at all. I know of it." Louis reassures him. "You won't be alone with me. Ever." He says and pulls Harry's chin down to him. He might be a few inches shorter but he isn't complaining when Harry's lips meet his. 

He could never complain over Harry.

Or so he thought. 

"Harry, please baby." Louis sighs and throws his hands down. The two are currently standing in the hallway in front of Oli's apartment. 

"What if they d-don't like me?" Harry bites his lip and looks at the door. Louis stands in front of it, and has his hand on the handle now. Harry was never good with new people, he's surprised he's grown so close to Louis so fast. Well they aren't close but he's comfortable. That's what matters, but he should get to know Louis. He wants to. 

"They'll love you." Lou says again. "They might ask a lot of questions and be curious but it's because you're new. That's all. Don't get overwhelmed okay?" Taking his hand, Louis opens the door and it instantly met with the smell of bacon and pancakes and he internally groans at the smell. A good groan of course. 

"Louis!" Many voices yell and he winces. His headache from drinking is finally taking full blast at him right now. It pounds a beat that Louis is starting to hate. "And new person!" Someone yells all alone. Soft laughs are heard and clanking of plates fill the kitchen. 

"Hey, who's this?" Perrie asks as she sets a plate of food in front of Zayn and ruffles his hair. He smiles appreciatively at her and takes a bite of his pancakes, instantly moaning. Which then leads to Liam pulling him closer and Eleanor and Ashton groaning at the couple. 

"This is..." Louis looks at the shy tall boy next to him and Harry smiles sheepishly. 

"I'm Harry." He says and lifts a hand and waves at the people. 

"Well hello, welcome to my dwelling. Make yourself at home, the both of you. Grab a plate and eat." Oli laughs. They make their way over and Harry scans them all. He sees a few familiar faces from the hallways constantly from them visiting. But he stops when he sees Calum, Luke and Ashton. 

"You guys know them?" Harry asks and Louis stares at him confused. Harry motions to the three lads and Louis nods. 

"Yeah of course." He simply says. 

"Hey how are you Harry, have you spoken to Mikey? He hasn't texted me since prom." Calum says from across the kitchen with syrup on his chin. A slight frown plays on his lips and Harry laughs. 

"He got his phone taken away, but school is over in one month so I'm sure they'll give him his phone back before then." Harry says without a stutter. Louis realizes this and smiles. Harry doesn't pay much attention to that and serves him and Louis food. 

"You guys still get your phones taken away, how old are you?" Sophia laughs from a stool, Niall on her right and El on the left. Harry seems hesitant to answer but quickly smiles to not be rude. 

"I'm only eighteen." He says and everyone whistles and hollers. Calling out Louis. 

"Younger men, wow Louis I knew you wanted to try bottoming but you didn't need a younger lad to do it." Niall laughs and Eleanor slaps his head making him almost spill his orange juice. The group laugh and continue to eat and talk. Harry always joins and laughs, Louis looks like a proud mother. That's weird though, so proud daddy. Louis smirks at the idea of Harry calling him daddy. 

"What's with that face?" Harry whispers at him and Louis shakes his head. 

"I'm proud of you," Is all he says. Harry laughs and eats a piece of bacon. 

"That face kinda looked like you were picturing me in panties." Harry jokes and Louis coughs and Perrie gives him a weird look. He shakes his head at her and glares at Harry. 

That's definitely something he'd love to see, and he kinda wants to argue with Harry more. 

For Louis likes the way Harry's face looks when he's arguing with him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all the support from here and on Wattpad:)


	4. 4 So When, When We All Grow Old.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not really edited sorry loves, and sorry for the wait as well. I had a long week, so here you go!

"You look so tense." Nick whispers in my ear as my back digs into the steal locker behind me. My hands lay limp on my sides against the lockers. His lips drag across my neck and I shiver. Not in a good way. 

"I'm n-not, it's just." I stop myself and sigh. "We h-have to get to c-class." I push him away softly, not wanting to get him mad at school. Knowing he won't hesitant even if people see, it's two guys. They'll see it as a fight and stop it but not as one being abused. That's the thing, guys can still get a abused. By their parents, another male or even a female. Society always makes the women the victims these days and I'm not saying they aren't. Sometimes it can be the girl abusing the boy and it's seen as a whole different picture. I'm so tired of gender roles. It's sickening. Hate is hate. Love is love.

Nick nods with suspicion swimming in his eyes, a frown etched on his lips. That's not a good sign, so as always he pushes me roughly against the locker. "Are you trying to break up with me? You know you can't, you're scared. You wouldn't dare." He seethes and pushes me one last time and walks away. 

I think I maybe could. It's not hard to just leave. I can change my locks, we don't necessarily live together he always just comes over some nights when he has business close by. He still lives with his parents. 

I ruffle my hair and quickly grab my bag from the floor and walk to my first class. I hear foot steps come up behind me and smile softly, knowing who it is already by the sound. Isn't that funny? How you can know someone by the sound of their steps, the way the scent of faint pine trees and dirt lingers on their clothes. That's the way Michael tends to smell, a really earthy smell from him always wanting to run in the rain when days are gloomy. Most want to stay inside and let the weather make them feel the same as the clouds do but Michael, no he's different. 

He would rather open all the windows and let the rain drift in and let the candles burn out. He'll take your hand and drag you outside till you feel the bottom of your shoes splash in puddles and covered in mud. Michael would much rather run into the fields of wet grass and trees and lift his hands in the air as the rain pelted against his face and chest like it was washing away all his bad. All the things he regrets and wishes to do, knowing in another life he'll turn left instead of right and say yes instead of no. That he'll play the drums instead of the guitar and finish that drawing on 6th street instead of forgetting about it after his parents said it was distraction of property. That in another life he'll live instead of whatever the hell he's doing now. 

I just hope in that life, he finds me again. Maybe then I'll live, more than I am now, what I'm doing now is anything but that, yet at least I can say I had a best friend who did. 

"You know when we grow old, I hope I have you to hold on to when I'm unsteady." Michael says next to me, his hands are in his pockets. I nod and look at him. His hair is damp and is painted black instead of it being green a few days ago. 

"You always will." I say quietly and he laughs. The halls are quiet and I don't even care about being late to class. 

"I wish it was just us in the world." Another wish that wasn't and couldn't come true. Shaking my head we stop at our class door, I look at him and his eyes connect with mine. 

"And it is." I say and open the door. 

***  
Louis' POV

My hands are sticky from frosting and I really have the strong urge to lick them. Pink candy hearts and red sprinkles litter the counter top as Perrie makes white flowers with fondant and purple cake paint. She laughs as Niall flops a spoon full of white frosting on the cake and it splats everywhere. I don't mind the mess really, we're at my apartment now because Oli didn't want us at his flat if he couldn't supervise. Yet he let that Briana, I don't know, stay? I guess they're going steady. I'm happy for him, he never stays with anyone actually now that I think about it. 

"Niall you should really spread it around, don't pat it bloody hell!" Perrie laughs and walks over to him to take him off of frosting duty. She's going to end up making this cake all by herself, as always. "You guys are terrible you know that?" Shaking her head she spins the platter that the cake is on. Spreading the frosting over it till its smooth all around. I could have never done that what the hell? 

"Alright I'm going to sit over there and drink a beer with Nialler and yeah." I say and walk off, she flips me off with a smile and I laugh. She's probably happy that we're leaving her be, I know I would be. We're horrible company especially when making a cake. I literally almost handed her salt when she asked for sugar. 

I sit down on one of the bean bags that my living room has. My apartment is way different from Oli's. Mine is smaller and only a one bedroom, when you walk in you see the kitchen and living room along with the small balcony. It's all open. You make a left half way If you were to walk towards the balcony and it leads to the bathroom and bedroom. It's very small but that's all I need. It's just me since I was eighteen, my parents sent me off and that was is. Now I'm in college and work at a bookstore. Yeah I know but that bookstore is also a tattoo shop and a side coffee shop. Weird I know, but Luke's older brother owns it and gave us all jobs. He pays well and has no problem with us working when we can. He knows we have school and social lives. 

I look at Niall who's taking a swig of his beer, his hair isn't fluffed up like usual. He has his hair all down and he's wearing a big sweater. It's been raining a lot lately, today the storm got a bit bigger. The wind is a lot stronger and the rain is a lot more heavier. 

We ended up playing FIFA as Perrie finished the cake. If you're asking who's it for, it's for everyone actually. She was in a baking mood so she baked a cake and we picked the toppings. It's only us three, Sophia is here too but she went out to get food for dinner. Maybe I should I invite Harry. 

I go to text him but we never exchanged numbers, odd how we didn't. "Boys!" Perrie yells from the kitchen which she didn't have to. We're like 20 feet away from one another. 

"Yes mom?" Niall jokes and sits at the stools I have set around the island. 

"Alright so we can't eat this until after dinner." Both of us groan. "Oh quiet. Sophia is almost- and she's here." Perrie says excitedly as we hear the buzzer for the door. We click it open, and wait for Sophia to come up. 

When she finally does we open the door for her, to see Liam and Zayn with her. They all have at leave 3 bags each and Sophia smiles. "I needed help so I picked them up, and they got all the bags. WOOP WOOP!" 

"Well I mean that's all you wanted us for?!" Liam shrieks and quickly walks in with the bags, Zayn right after him. I shut the door and shake my head. I always shake my head when these people are around. People I hope that are always around, that never want to leave. I feel for Harry when he said Nick is all he had, he can have all of us like I said. They really liked him when he came over. He already knew Calum and them. 

"Alright let's get cooking." And when Liam says that, it means Perrie, Sophia, and Zayn are cooking. The rest of us shall sit and watch in amazement. 

An hour passes and the meatloaf is barely done, but they're all still making the side dishes. Which are macaroni salad and mash potatoes. Green beans and stuffing. This feels like thanksgiving. 

"You should invite Harry," Zayn says out of the blue while he chops up chives and fresh bacon to put in the mash potatoes. 

"I would but I don't have his number." I sigh and put down my beer. That's so weird how we never gave one another our numbers, you think we would've. I totally forgot, am I getting old!?

"I have it." Niall says from my left and I frown. 

"We all do," Sophia says. "We're all in a groupchat, we always thought you just didn't text in it." She laughs and opens a can of mixed vegetables. I gasp and fake my horror, how dare he give them his number and not me? This is crazy, what?

"What the hell?" Running my hands in my hair I frown. "Give me it." 

"I'll just text him." Niall says. 

"No give me his number." 

"No." 

"Yes. Niall, now give it." Why won't he give it to me?

"Maybe he didn't give it to you for a reason." Niall says to me and I groan. 

"Niall! Please just give me his number." I groan and Niall shakes his head. 

"Nuh-uh."

"Yes."

"Nope."

"Niall."

"Louis." 

"For god's sake!" Liam exclaims. "Louis I'll give you his damn number, Niall why are you so difficult?" I throw my hands up in victory as Niall pouts. Haha I won. 

"I liked having a power over him, we could've all black mailed him to do things. Just for Harry's number." Niall explains and the rest nod. What?!

"True I don't want to give it to you anymore." Liam says and turns away from me. Zayn laughs and Perrie snickers. 

"This isn't fair!" I slap my hands on the counter top. This is so deceiving, how dare they all turn on me. 

"Yes it is, you should've asked him but you're too shy." Perrie says and wiggles the spoon at me. A small glare forms in her eyes and makes her eyebrows dip to the way of her nose. 

"You're all taking the bread's side!" I laugh accusingly. 

"Hey, I'm toasted!" Niall glares at me. "I went to the beach the other day." We all laugh as he pouts and touches his slightly red cheeks. 

"I'll just ask him then." I say crossing my arms and doing a fake pout. This always works on Zayn. 

"No you won't, and stop pouting." Zayn says and I'm shocked. Our bromance is broken, I don't know who he is anymore. Fuck him. 

"What we had was special." I say and Zayn frowns. 

"I don't know what you're talking about but I have him under 'H' with a leaf emoji." Zayn says and flicks me away towards his phone with the cutting knife. Our brotp has magically formed again, it was never broken. Nothing can break us. 

I go to Zayn's phone and unlock it, he has a password which is the day he got with Liam. That's so clever, note my sarcasm. I go through his contacts and find 'H' with the leaf emoji. Why a leaf? I don't know either. I quickly send the number to my phone and save it. Should I text him? He had school today, I can ask how he's doing. Will he know who I am? 

I quickly text him a 'Hey.' Waiting patiently with a content smile on my face at the stool again, Zayn looks at me. 

"You like him, Lou?" Zayn asks me and this is the first time anyone has ask me that. 

"I've only known him a few days." I say and set my phone down. It bings. 

"That's not what I asked." Zayn says with a smile. 

"I mean, I think so?" I offer him and quickly look away. Taking my phone with me to the living room, I see there's a text from 'Curly Head.' Yeah now look who's the clever one. 

Curly Head: hey lou 

I frown at the text. 

Smol Bean: How did you know it was me?

Curly Head: i have your number?

Smol Bean: How though?

Curly Head: it's a secret;)

Smol Bean: Such a mysterious one you are.

Curly Head: of course. i got to go.

Smol Bean: ok

Wonder how he got my number, and where he had to go. Harry is a mysterious one for sure. Is he ok? He left pretty fast. 

I hear my friends laugh from the kitchen and hope Harry will soon want to hang out with us more. So when we all grow old, we can watch Niall pop a hip while playing golf. Watch Liam and Zayn celebrate 40 years together and Sophia make a successful fashion line and Perrie open her bakery. Maybe Harry and I will be married too with kids. 

I smile at the thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, hope you liked it:)


	5. 5 I'm Not Half as Bad.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait, band rehearsal took up most of my time:)

I wish I still talked to my mom, and that I still laughed with my sister. I wish a lot of things. Like right now as I stare at the buildings that you can see from my balcony, I wish I could fly. I could fly over to Louis wherever he is, and if I became unsteady I know he'd catch me. 

"Harry?" I look behind me and see Michael with a small brown paper bag in his hands. He smiles softly and walks over and sits by me, our feet out pressed against the bars of the balcony. I pull up my legs and wrap my arms around my knees. He sighs and pulls out two donuts. One with pink frosting and blue sparkles and the other with blue frosting with pink sparkles. Our usual. I mean yeah they may seem a bit girly but who cares? We picked the same ones ever since we were in middle school. Never tried any other ones. 

Michael hands me mine and I mumble a thank you. Today wasn't my best day, everything felt different. My house didn't feel like home when I woke up, school didn't feel exciting like it usually did. Nick hit harder than he would. Michael must feel my unease and wraps an arm around my shoulders. He leans over and kisses my temple and I laugh and push him away and he almost chokes on his donut. 

"You douche." He says. 

"You asshole." I say back and he shakes his head. We eat our donuts and listen to the cars near by drive against the wet pavement. Again I wish I could drive away as I hear the car tires slowly go faint and another come closer. The breeze is damp and I think I might be getting sick from the way my nose already feels stuffy. 

"Hey have you met anyone recently?" Mikey asks when we feel the first drop of rain hit our faces. I frown and look at him. 

"What do you mean?" I ask him and he laughs. What could he possibly mean? He knows I'm with Nick and no one else, I mean that's if he knows about Louis. Then yeah maybe Nick isn't the only person I'm with. Oh god that makes me sound like a terrible person! I'm a terribly person, I'm cheating. I'm slowly turning into Nick it feels like. 

"Don't act like I'm the only person you hang out with." He says. "You had this loopy smile on the other day, and I know, Nick hasn't made you feel the way you looked in years." I want to slap him because seriously, if he can see the way I was acting after that night with Louis. Then who's to say Nick didn't notice either. 

"There's no one." I lie and hold back a smile. He can't know about Louis yet, I like him being my little secret. Yet again Michael is my best friend and deserves to know this. I can't hide this from him. "Ok fine, yes there's this guy!" I yell and Michael jumps next to me with a laugh. 

"Ok, I wasn't going to force you to tell me, but I'm glad you did." He laughs and I pout, he knows he would've tortured me. "What's his name? Do you like him? Does he know about Nick?" 

"Well if you let me answer the first damn question before you asked more, then you would know." I remark and he bumps my arm and I laugh. "His name is Louis Tomlinson, I know it sounds posh. I think I do, he's all I ever think about. And yeah, he knows about Nick. Not in full detail but he knows." Michael nods and takes my hand. 

"He makes you happy yeah?" He asks me and I nod. 

"Yeah," I smile. "Yeah he does." Looking out into the distance as the rain gets heavier I pull Michael up with me. He calls out my name but I ignore it, I lead him to the door. I don't actually know what I'm doing but when we get to the elevator and it opens I pull us inside. I click the floor Oli's apartment is on and I wait. 

"Where are we going?" Michael is confused and I know but I can't explain Louis in words. They won't even cover the definition of him, not even a thin layer of it. So when we get to Oli's door I knock once and I seriously hope Louis is here. If I had come up here for no reason then that would have been really stupid on my part. 

The door clicks open and Perrie stands there. She's wearing a Batman sweater with leggings it looks like, she smiles at me and I smile back. "Well hello Tarzan and... I'll call you Simba." She laughs when she eyes Michael. 

Michael smiles at the nickname and I let out a laugh. 

"Louis here?" I ask and she quickly nods. Ok thank Jesus crackers that he's here, I really want Mikey to meet him. 

"Louis! Your prince is here!" Perrie yells behind her and welcomes us in. We step in and we instantly see Louis sitting on the couch. 

My world bursts into color, it's been gloomy for days. 

+  
*Narrator's POV*

Louis quickly sits up as he sees Harry. His hands twitch with wanting to hold the boy and kiss him senseless, Harry smiles and pulls in a boy with him. Louis stares quizzically at them both but offers the boy with black hair and an eyebrow ring a smile. "Who's this love?" He asks when Harry walks over. 

Louis pulls the boy down to him and Michael stares at them questionably. "This is M-Michael, and Mikey this is Louis." Harry states and Louis smiles even wider. This new boy has to be the one that Harry's had all along, it's not Nick that's for sure. Harry would never introduce them. Knowing that this Michael is Harry's friend and that he isn't fully alone makes Louis like him more. Wait, he's seen that guys face before. 

"Have we met before?" Louis asks Michael and the boy thinks for a minute. Louis swears he's seen him before but something is different. 

"Uh yeah we have," Michael finally clarifies. "I'm sorta dating Calum, I don't know for sure. It's complicated." He laughs and Louis joins. Harry smiles at them interacting and scoots closer to Louis. He's a bit nervous since its been a couple of days since he last saw Louis. They had that talk about him leaving Nick, and he met all of Louis' friends. 

As Louis pulls Harry into him, the younger boy thinks about how if this was his life. If he was dating Louis and he was always held like this, not beaten and bruised like he always is with Nick. If only he had the strength to just leave Nick, where would he go though? With Mikey, no his parents wouldn't allow that even if they've been friends for ages. Louis? That could work but they just met, but don't roommates always get to know each other when living with one another? 

"Haz?" Harry looks at Louis and smiles softly. Louis has his hair all disheveled and his blue eyes are slightly glazed. He's wearing a forest green sweater and some lightly faded skinny jeans. His cheek bones look more prominent today, maybe it's what Harry feels for him.

"Yeah?" Harry breathes as Louis pulls him closer. Michael is long forgotten since Perrie pulled him into the kitchen with her to bake a set of cookies. Oli is home so he can 'supervise', and he always had the best oven in Perrie's opinion. 

"I've missed your lips," Louis says, Harry can feel his breath against his skin. "Those soft, soft lips." 

Harry wants to scream because this is his life now. He wants to kiss Louis when he wants, hold his hand when he wants. He wants to not worry when Nick will ruin everything all the time. He wants to fucking live but why is that so hard to do. So Harry does what he wants for the first time it seems. He grabs the back of Louis' head and tangles his fingers in his hair. He pulls Louis towards him and their lips meet, Harry feels sane agains. He pushes his mouth to Louis' and the older boy gets it. He opens his mouth and Harry eagerly slips his tongue in and licks the roof of Louis' mouth. He tastes cigarettes and cake? Whatever he tastes, it's Louis. It's Louis and he doesn't care, he's doing what he wants. 

The kiss feels like a lifetime but in reality it's only seconds later when they pull apart and Louis kisses down Harry's neck. The green eyed boy laughs and closes his eyes. God, Louis feels so good kissing him there. They don't seem to mind their surroundings when they hear a cough. Louis quickly pulls Harry up with him and straightens the boy's hair. Harry laughs as he stairs over at Oli watching them and Louis still tries to play it off. 

"See told you, your hair looks good like that." Louis says and Oli laughs. He doesn't understand why his best mate is like this but he nods along anyway telling Harry that his hair does look good like that. It's still the same thing might he add. 

"Anyways," Oli sighs really loudly. "The food is done, and your presence is needed at the table." Louis stands up with his chest puffed out. He bends down and sticks his hand out for Harry, who acts posh and grabs his hand gently. They stand tall with one another, well at least Louis tries to. He's a bean, Harry laughs at the thought and Louis smiles at him. 

Louis can't help his fondness over the boy. They walk into the kitchen, Oli stopping and acting like he has a trumpet to introduce them. "I introduce you Prince Harold of Panty-Ville and Princess Louis of DickSucker!" He says and Louis quickly slaps him with a glare and Harry doubles over to laugh. 

"DickSucker?" Perrie questions with plates in her hand. "I mean, he more like devours them but I guess." She says seriously and Mikey lets out a loud laugh and her face quickly turns into a smile. She laughs and Louis lets out a groan. 

"That's not half as bad, I quite like my dick being devoured." Harry whispers into Louis's ear and he sobers up. He coughs and looks at Harry who just walks past him. He see's his back muscle from underneath his thin white tshirt, and his legs walk slowly over to the stool, covered in black jeans. How does he make simple clothing so attractive? Louis thinks and just walks over to his seat between Harry and Oli. He groans and grabs his plate. 

They all load their plates and eat with soft laughter and quiet voices. The kitchen is filled with clanks of utensils on platters and the slaps of Louis hitting Oli. Laughs get higher as more people arrive for the night. They all hang out a lot, Harry notes. They always have each other, he wants this too. He can have it, he know it's. So he looks at Michael in the way he smiles when Calum walks through the door. 

He watches the way Perrie throws her head back when she laughs. The way Louis says bad words a lot even if he's a nice guy. In the way Oli clanks his plate on purpose to annoy Sophia, and the way Eleanor watches Niall stuff biscuits in his mouth till he can't anymore. He hears the way Zayn declares love for Liam, and gives him wet kisses to only hear Luke fake gag and wrap his arms around El. And the way Ashton watches quietly, a smile on his lips. They're all here for a purpose it seems. 

Harry just hasn't found out his. 

Louis notices how Harry is quiet, he walks over to the boy and kisses his cheek. His arms wrap around his waist, and Harry sinks into him. They fit weirdly together but neither of them question it. Louis gently nuzzles his head into Harry's neck and Harry giggles slightly. "You're purpose is with me." Louis says quietly. 

Harry looks into his eyes, green bores into blue and somehow a new world is created. Filled with every color imaginable, every beautiful scene and every amazing aroma. Louis looks back and he feels like everything he sees is what he lives for. He lives for Harry. 

_You're purpose is with me._

Harry believes it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> next update later today? give some kudos if you would like that!!


	6. 6 When I Knock at a Hundred and Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First really bad smut written chapter:)

Sorry for the wait! Before you read Madalyn, is a made up place. Btw very bad written smut at the end... So heads up if you aren't into that:)

Another day down as being Louis Tomlinson, that's an accomplishment. Especially after a day like this one. Where it kept raining on and off, got hot and humid. Wasn't it supposed to be fall already? There's days where black ice slicks up the roads and there's days where your clothes stick to you from the water in the air, only caused by heat. Madalyn, please get your act together.

So when Louis woke up this morning, and his breath was stale with nicotine. He didn't feel up for the day, he wanted to stay in bed and stare at his ceiling till it was dark enough to sleep again. He wanted to feel nothing and not have a worry in the world. Yet today, he had to work. 

He got up and went to the rest room. He stared at himself in the mirror and picked out all his flaws, even if to others they weren't. He brushed his teeth and finished his business. Walking to his room, he stops by the kitchen and puts waffles in the toaster. The short length to his room is filled with him thinking on what to wear. 

Luke's brother was pretty chill when it came to what they wore. He didn't care, as long as it wasn't too flashy, have some decency he always said. They all worked there, and for some reason they all tried to be color coordinate. The colors they always chose were black and green. The shop's colors. That resulted to Louis pulling on a light green tank top with black jeans. A jacket pulled on that was black with graphics Zayn drew on the back with the Shop's logo. He then quickly put a pin of a hedgehog on his tank top right on top of his left nipple. 

That's one thing they all agreed on, the shop's logo. Everyone has a piece of clothing with the logo, it's either a jacket or a hat. The guys mostly chose hats and the girls jackets, but everyone mostly had one of each. The logo was a tea cup with steam rising from it, the cup itself has designs like tattoos. The shop is a cafe with a tattoo parlor. 

On his way out Louis grabs his waffles and keys and goes down to the car garage.

The drive isn't that far so it only takes five minutes. The car has a soft hum wherever it goes and Louis doesn't know if he should check that out. He ignores it now as he pulls into the employee parking only area. Three other cars litter the parking lot. He sees Eleanor's white jeep, Luke's red mustang, along with Zayn's Ford Focus. Louis has a dark grey jeep, so he parks next to El to make it look cool. 

Walking in the shop-RONNIE's- Louis notices faces. Eleanor has a black checkered dress with green knee highs on with boots. A black hat with the logo is on the top of her head with her pony tail pulled through the back. Luke sits with a green tshirt at the cash register. Zayn is serving with Liam and they're both wearing green tank tops with black jeans like Louis. Liam has the hat on whilst Zayn has it snapped on his belt loop. Lou smiles and sighs. 

The shop looks quite colorful if you were to see it. The floors are dark tile with scattered white ones. Green countertops and black stools are set up around the bar area of the shop. The tables are green with colorful chairs. The whole area is lit up from the windows everywhere, even if the walls are mostly chalkboard with the menus. Plus stupid crap the costumers and workers write.

If you go to the back, it's dark. The tattoo parlor is back there. Louis thinks everyone likes this place because the tattoo artists are great and the food is even better. You can be getting your lover's name tattooed and regret it later while eating a really good Double Wammie Burger. The shop's special. Which comes with a drink, shake and fries. So yeah, hit RONNIE's up. 

"Yo Louis!" Eleanor laughs. "Get you butt over here, today's pretty hectic." She says and walks over. She ties an apron around his waist, she gives him a notepad and a pencil. Louis takes that as his cue to start ordering and walk off. 

He finds a couple in the corner with no help yet so he walks over to them. Taking their orders the girl wants a coffee with the Miles of Berries pancakes. The guy, who has familiar blonde hair, wants an orange juice with the Mega Million Whipped pancakes. Both good choices, Louis thinks and nods with a smile. "That'll be right up." They thank him and he goes over to the kitchen. 

It's a small window right behind Luke's station at the cash register. Louis lifts the counter top opening and walks in. He goes over to the window. "Alright I need a Miles of Berries pancake and a Mega Million Whipped pancake. 3 each for pancakes. Hold the blueberries in the Miles and hold the coconut in the Mega. Got it Jack?" Louis laughs and Luke's brother laughs and nods. 

"You know it hedge," He smiles and Louis rolls his eyes. Hedge is his nickname here. Just like Zayn's is Sonic, Liam's is Bean, Luke's is Tails and Eleanor's is Flash. That's only because she's really fast at taking orders and food to tables. Faster than Zayn actually which is surprising because they had a ' wait off ', and Zayn followed her right after. She won by a milestone but we never say that, Zayn's ego would be wounded. 

They all have nicknames, since they all work here and don't wear name tags. So all the costumers call them by that, and they all have pins on their shirts that represent their nicknames. So it's pretty simple. 

Louis makes the coffee and pours the orange juice, gently carrying them and walking over to the couple. He sets them down softly and they thank him. He's about to walk away when the face of the guy clicks. His slender nose and dark eyes are only ones he's since once before. "Can I get a name for the order, it's hard to keep track sometimes." Louis laughs and the girl smiles and the guy nods. 

"Nick." He says with a flick of his hand. "Maybe they shouldn't have hired you if you couldn't keep up with orders." Nick says with a sigh and the girl gasps. Louis bites his tongue and genuinely wants to punch this guy. 

It's not just because he's being rude now but if he's this way with Harry? That bugs, no it fucking sets a flame, in Louis that he's not so sure he wants to blow out. This guy is the scum that made Harry hurt, made him feel like he wasn't enough. 

"I'm so sorry," The girl says. "I'm Jade, Nick here is my temperamental boyfriend but don't mind him." She laughs. Louis stares at her and she smiles. She seems too nice to be with a guy like Nick, who is also Harry's boyfriend. Harry has been so hung up on cheating on Nick and beating himself up. When this douche has been doing it the whole time. Louis' eyes turn into a glare and Jade's smile falters. 

"Uh sorry, no it's ok." Louis says. "Don't apologize for him, my friend Harry has to deal with me so I get it." He laughs and Nick tenses up. Nick stares at him and Louis kinda regrets saying that, will he get Harry in trouble. Oh god. 

"Yeah, it's a drag." Jade takes a sip of her coffee with an eye roll. 

"Shut up, and I'm not your boyfriend." Nick seethes and Jade smiles. "It was one time." 

"Yeah ok," She nods and gets up. "Have my food set over at the bar please?" Jade smiles and gently lays her hand on Louis' shoulder. Louis smiles at her and she walks off. 

"You know Harry?" Nick asks and Lou looks over to him. 

"You know Harry?" Lou asks back and Nick grumbles. His hair sticking out everywhere. 

"Never mind, it's probably a different guy." He sighs and Louis nods. He walks away and goes over to Luke and sits up on the counter. Jade sits a few stools away. 

A Change of Heart by the 1975 plays softly in the back ground as Lou scrubs off something by his leg. The rag coming from Luke's hand. "That's Harry's boyfriend." Louis says quietly. Luke looks up at Nick sitting along. His orange juice half gone or half full, however you see it. 

"He came with her?" Luke asks and Louis nods. "Why haven't you bashed his face in yet?" Luke laughs and Louis shakes his head. 

"Yeah I'm wondering the same." Luke nods and throws a straw at him. Eleanor walks up and Luke brightens. His smile shows more teeth and Eleanor giggles. 

"Alright guys an order of M O B and M M W." Jack says a few feet away. Louis jumps off the green countertop and grabs both plates. "Ya alright Hedge?" The blue eyed boy just nods and turns around. 

He goes to Nick first and gives him his plate, both completely quiet. Louis then goes over to Jade and sits beside her. She thanks him and grabs the syrup. "You know he's a dick right?" He asks her and she laughs. 

"Yeah I know." Jade says then takes a bite and slightly moans at the taste. "These are good." 

"Yeah they are," Louis comments. "But why then?"

"You know it's one thing to be addicted to drugs, but it's another to be addicted to someone." 

*** 

Harry sits on his bed, his legs under the white covers, bare. He feels the cool silk of his underwear, they're new. He wonders if Louis will like them, not Nick. No he would never do anything for the sake of him, he used to. Not anymore though. He doesn't deserve it, not after he's littered Harry's body with cigarette burns. With bruises not seen until you take his shirt off, his spine has small moons down it. God he hates the night, especially when Nick comes over. He just wants Louis, his sunshine. 

He feels his sweater shift slightly from the wind that enters through his window. A slight breeze that gives him goosebumps, reminding him of the feeling Louis gave him. He pulls the covers tighter and sighs. Why hasn't Louis texted him? Why hasn't he called? 

He grabs his phone and looks at the time. It's one am already. He spent the day here, in his room just doing nothing. Netflix corrupted his mind with Barry Allen and red lighting. He smiles as he gets an idea. He hasn't felt good in awhile. 

Harry closes his eyes and gently grabs his length, it's limp but that won't last long. He thinks of Louis' lips and how his hands felt when it traveled from his back to his hips. The masculine feel of his fingers gently on his skin. His lips on his neck, Harry groans softly and moves his hand more. 

His mind sends him hazy images of Louis on the floor in front of him. His hands on his thighs as he would pull his thighs apart and sit between them. He would kiss his hips and lick up his torso, Harry thinks. 

Harry needs more than just thoughts, he thinks. He needs his voice. 

He grabs his phone and finds the name he's craving. 

***

My phone rings from the desk next to my bed. I gently grab for it and groan at the light it illuminates. I blink and I probably look like an old man squinting at the screen. 

_Curly._

I quickly accept it and bring it to my ears. 

"Hello?" I answer and I'm surprised when I hear a groan. "Oh, oh okay. Are you... Harry?" 

"L-Lou.." Harry's voice is raspy and moaning. Holy hell, he's moaning, I shake my head and I comprehend what's happening. "Baby I need you." He says into my ear and I want to scream. 

"What are you doing?" I ask lowering my voice, Harry whimpers and I feel my cock twitch. "Baby I can't do anything if you don't tell me." I say. 

God this is so hot. 

"I-I'm... I can't come I want you." Harry whimpers. "I keep thinking of you but, it's not, it's not the same."  

"It is the same babe." I let out as I release my length. It's hard and already leaking precome.  I take it gently and start flicking my wrist, my hands tightens as Harry whimpers my name. "If I were there, I'd kiss your neck. I would, fuck would let me suck you off?" 

"Yeah, yeah I would." He breathes. His accent is thicker and raspy, God I wish I could see him. I flick my thumb over my head and my thighs tighten at the contact. "I want you, I would want you to see me how I am right now." 

"What would I see baby?" I groan and he whimpers. He'll be the death of me. 

"You'd s-see me in b-black panties..." Harry whispers and I grip my length harder and move my fist faster. 

"Fuck baby you have to let me see those." I say barely as I feel the pit in my abdomen get tighter. I feel my mind go hazy as my jaw slackens, I groan out Harry's name. 

Moments pass as I lay there. Done and spent and it's just from a phone call. I hear Harry sigh and I laugh. He joins in shortly after. We laugh as we try catching our breaths, because we fucking just came by one another's voices. That's so 15 year old virgin groaning into pillow shit. I calm down as Harry giggles. 

"Did that just happen?" Harry asks and I chuckle. 

"Yeah I think it did." Harry sighs. "Are you actually wearing panties?" I ask as an after thought. Harry laughs out loud and I smile. 

"We just made each other come and you're wondering if I'm actually wearing panties?" Harry laughs and I stare out my window. 

"Yeah," I say. "That would be pretty hot." 

"I am." He says and my breath hitches. 

"Fuck H.." I sigh and I hear his laugh again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have a new fanfic on wattpad called Puissant which is all five of the Boys. It's Louis centric so check it out. I'm blinded_harry !!


	7. 7 That's Why We're Here.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait!! Band camp is taking over my time, I'm exhausted lately:)

Your past isn't something you want to relive, especially if it was a bad one. You would much rather live in the moment or in the future, not knowing what will happen. As for the past, you know. You know what you did two seconds ago and you know what you did yesterday and before that and it just keeps going. 

My past was a bit like a flower. Different parts to something that was once beautiful but is slowly dying as time passes. It will go loopy and brown, not any amount of water or care could fix that. 

When I was in eighth grade I only had two friends. Michael and Nick. Michael was my best friend, he made me laugh and do crazy things. He was my other half, my partner in crime. Nick on the other hand, he was different. He made me feel fuzzy and he always made me feel wanted. I don't get how he did it, we were just friends weren't we?

Friends don't make you feel the way Nick made me feel. Throughout eighth grade he would wink at me and make perverted jokes. 

When we went to high school he introduced me to his other friends. I stayed with Michael a lot more then when we got to high school. Nick later on stopped talking to me, and he would occasionally smile at me and I still felt the fuzzy feeling. 

When tenth grade came we started talking again, and it was different. He was sorta, flirty? He would touch my shoulder and pat my thigh when we sat down at his house. When it was right before summer vacation he kissed me for the first time. He's the only boy I ever kissed and ever felt this way for. Was I gay? I don't know. All I knew is what I felt for Nick. 

That summer I met more of his other friends, he was different with them. He would get drunk and high and I would just watch him and make sure he didn't throw up. He would kiss me with his tequila flavored mouth and try touching me. I wasn't ready then, and he used to respect that. 

When eleventh grade started, we got really close. Michael was my best friend and Nick was more. When we were 17, we had sex for the first time. I remember feeling so much love for me and he said he felt the same. After awhile though, all he wanted to do was have sex. Then he got drunk more, along with coming over to my house later. That's when my parents caught us. They kicked me out, not for being gay but for being with a guy like Nick. 

They made me choose, and I chose him. 

The summer before twelfth grade he hit me for the first time. I thought nothing of it, he was drunk and high. He wasn't thinking clearly. Then we were having sex once and he had an idea. To burn me with his cigarette, down my spine, every bone that stuck out slightly. He burned me. I screamed in agony and he said to take it if I loved him. So I did. 

As times passed, I got to know Nick that summer. His job and what he did when he wasn't with me. 

When twelfth grade started, Nick went to school. He treated me slightly better then, but now he just recently dropped out. He wants to focus on his job, and I can't stop him. I can't tell him to stop selling drugs or he'll hit me. This year, he cheated on me for the first time. Multiple times after that. I don't know what to do. 

This year though, I also met someone. He makes me happy and feel fuzzy. I'm scared sometimes that it'll end up like Nick too but when I'm with him. I know it won't. 

We've kissed and... even had phone sex and I know that's too fast. I trust him though and I think that's what counts. Yet if I want Nick out of my life, I need to do this slowly. I can't rip it off like a band aid. This is more like a cast. 

I need to be able to heal and then take it off. It's harder than it looks. 

I know what Nick does is bad, but he's been there for me when I needed it. I've been there for him too. I know deep down he means his sorries, and regrets yelling at me. I know deep down he's scared of losing me too. 

I just don't know if I'm scared of losing him, or scared of leaving him.

As I stare at the skyline in front of me and think about going to it. To just let go. 

I can let go with Louis but recently it seems like it's all a blur. I don't want it to that way. It's fast and you can't even catch glimpses of if, it's just colors. As much as I like Lou, it feels like I'm using him. 

That might sound stupid of me to say. 

I'm about to grab the half empty bottle of vodka when there's a knock at my door. Everyone has been knocking on my door lately. Getting up I groan, my knee cracks and I frown. That might not be good. 

When I get to my door I sorta expected to see the face I always dread but once loved. His smirk is carved into his face and the bags under his eyes are darker than usual. He's drunk. 

"Hey baby," He slurs, his body slumped against the door frame. He lifts his right hand to my cheek, I don't push him away. I know better. "Wanna make me happy?" 

Instantly I want to grimace but I replace it with a smile. Nodding I pull him in, the faster this is done; the faster he'll leave or fall asleep. Our lips meet in a wet messy kiss and it's not the best thing ever. It should be though, I should feel his warmth and sparks. Just like in the movies, but I don't. All I feel is disgust and cold lips pressed to mine. 

His hands go to my waist and mine go to his cheeks. His tongue enters my mouth and all I can do is let him do what he wants. When we're finally in the room, I lay there. Kissing back when needed, and moaning when he did. At the end I still catch my high and it confuses me. Do I still like him then? 

If he makes me feel good then, why can't he make me feel good all the time? When it's all over Nick slumps to my side. His face smudged into my white pillow and has the bed comforter lazily thrown on his back. I watch him, he looks nice when he sleeps. Why can't he always be nice? 

Finding the energy to get up, I walk over to my bathroom and stare at my reflection. My face is tinted pink at the cheeks but there's no glow like there should be when you're done making love. I run my hands over my face and ruffle my hair. It sticks to the nape of my neck, and my lips are bitten red. If someone saw me they would know I just had sex. Just sex. That's not what I want though. 

I want love and passion. I want his hands to feel like fire instead of ice and I want his lips to feel like fireworks instead of skin touching skin. I want more and that seems like so much to ask for. 

Stepping in the shower, the hot water hits my back. I wet my hair and put my shampoo on, scrubbing then rinsing. I then grab conditioner even when I'm like the only guy I know who uses it. While it's in my hair, I rinse my body and lather it with soap. Washing my body I rinse out my hair as well. 

Standing for another ten minutes, I think. I watch the water swirl into the drain and water drops chase each other. When my mind is no longer caught up in a hurricane of thoughts, I shut the water off. I grab a towel that's set on the handle by the shower. I dry myself off in the shower still, and then ruffle my hair in the towel. 

I get to the sink and brush my teeth. 

Once I'm all done I go back to my room. I grab boxers and a sweater. Then a pair of joggers. Putting the clothes on I keep my eyes on Nick. He won't wake up for another couple of hours. When I get to the living room I grab my shoes and put them on. 

I walk out my apartment and go to the elevator. Clicking Oli's floor I smile at the thought of seeing them all. Louis gave me friends, I frown at that because that's a bit depressing. I was good with Michael though, he was all I needed. Now all of them are just added people and I'm okay with that too. 

Getting to his door I knock once and it opens instantly. Calum stands there, his eyes are red rimmed as smoke slightly forms around him. "You high?" I ask and he laughs. 

"Mate I'm stoned as hell, but get in get in." He chuckles and pulls me in. The apartment is cloudy and smells like Mary Jane. All the girls are out on the balcony it looks like, you can see Perrie laughing as Sophia is throwing her hands up. Looking back at the living room, Oli is sitting with Ashton. Luke and Zayn. Liam is walking in from the kitchen and then you hear a haha laugh and it instantly leads you to Niall. He's in the kitchen, I walk to the kitchen and stop. 

Louis is hugging a short brunette. The boy is wrapping his arms around Louis as well, they're both laughing at something Niall said. I would cough and make myself known but I just walk back. I go out to the balcony to instantly be bombarded with squeals and hugs. "Tarzan!" 

"Okay, okay." I laugh and hug the girls back. Sophia has a black giant shirt on, Perrie is wearing a onesie but I won't question it. Eleanor is wearing an over sized tshirt with leggings. "So, how's life?" They all light up and pull me to the couches Oli has set out on the balcony. We all squish onto the longest one.

I sit in between Perrie and Eleanor and Sophia sits in my lap but I don't mind. I hold her close and she smiles. "Okay so there's this guy." Perrie says, I nod and look at her to continue. 

"He always smiles at me, we hang out a lot. He never hesitates to ask me if something is wrong." She babbles. "Honestly, there's times when he even flirts and he knows he's doing it. Then next thing you know he's with someone else. Taking her out and yet he still smiles and winks at me. Like what the hell?" She laughs but I can tell this really bothers her. I put my hand out to her and she holds it. I feel Eleanor lean into my side. I seem to think this isn't awkward because of my sexuality and that bothers me because it would be awkward if I were straight. Why can't guys just hang out with girls?

"Okay," I say with a nod. "I think if he's being all hard to get and stuff- I get that playing hard to get can be fun- but it's to a certain extent. He just seems to be leading you on, love. I honestly think he isn't worth it and more importantly not worth you." I squeeze her hand and she nods with a small smile. 

"Thanks H." I nod and look up to Sophia. 

"Well for me, it's my dad." She sighs. "He won't let me finish my fashion course at university and he's making me switch classes. I know it isn't a big deal because it's just clothes to him, and he doesn't get that I'll have to start with a whole new grade. I don't know what to tell him." 

"Well, Soph. I think it'd be easier to just talk to him." I offer her. 

"I've tried and he doesn't listen." She pouts. 

"So you make him listen, babe." Pulling her in more she looks at me. "It's a big deal because it's important to you, and he needs to get that. If he can't, then you do it anyways. You're an adult, you're making your own money. I don't see why he has a say in this." Telling her this she has a thoughtful look on her face. 

"You're right, of course. I'll just do me." She nods with a more confident look on. 

"Exactly, do you Boo." I laugh and they all join me. "What about you El?" I look to my right and she smiles. 

"You know, I don't think anything is wrong other than my car breaking down yesterday." She laughs. "No, life's good." She nods. I smile and she leans her head on my shoulder. 

We get into a conversation about which Model wears YSL better and who wears it the worst. We talk about food and the next holiday coming up. How we should all spend Christmas together even if it feels like summer on some days. We're laughing about the story when Luke asked out Eleanor and took her to a paintball alley. She won of course and told us how he almost cried when we hear the door open. We all look up and see Louis and that guy. 

"Hey Lou," Perrie says. "Hi Stan." She laughs. Louis doesn't look at us still as he's caught up in conversation. 

"Oh, hey Per- Harry?" His eyes widen and he steps away from Stan. "You're here, when did you get here? Why is she in your lap?" He questions. Stan, stand awkwardly at his side. 

"I am here. I got here like an hour ago and she can be in my lap if she wants to." I say and he frowns. He seriously question me with a girl when I'm gay when he's with a boy all hubby with him. 

"You okay Har?" He asks with a frown still. "You seem upset?" He questions and laughs. The boy joins him and I shake my head. 

"Want to go get ice cream with me?" I ask the girls and they all stand up. I stand Sophia up gently and walk over to the door. I ignore Louis and keep walking. 

"Harry?" I hear. 

"God the wind is loud tonight." I joke and Perrie shakes her head with a smile. She gets what I'm doing. 

We all walk out and I don't look back to see if Louis is following us too. 

Good thing I grabbed my car keys, I think when we get down to the car garage. When I turn around to tell them I have a bit of a mess in car I stop and see the three girls. Luke and Calum are here now but I don't mind. 

"Tarzan?" Perrie walks over and looks at me. 

I shake my head and smile at her. "I'm fine, I just remembered my car is messy." They all laugh. 

"We don't mind, let's go get ice cream!" Luke yells and they all cheer. Getting into the car, they all shuffle into my Rover. When we're all buckled up I lift my head and stare at the car garage. Casting my eyes over the area. 

Louis never came.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Find me on Wattpad @Blinded_Harry !!


	8. I've Been Pouring My Heart Out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's been awhile x

Driving in the car, laughter is fogging up the windows. My lips curve into a smile as I hear Luke squeal from Eleanor tickling him. Perrie sits up front with me while the rest are squished in the back. Eleanor is on Luke's lap because there was no room. The rain is falling softly and the streets glisten from the lights. 

"You okay Tarzan?" Perrie asks quietly from beside me. The radio is playing so the others can't hear us. 

"I would like to say I am, but I'm not sure." I say truthfully. I don't know what's up with me, I didn't need to get upset. Louis isn't mine, we aren't together. He can go wrap his arms around anyone he likes. 

Perrie sighs and nods anyway. "It was because Lou was with Stan huh?" I just nod and keep my eyes on the road. "They've known each other for forever." 

"How is that helping me here?" I glance at her and she smiles sheepishly. 

"I'm sorry, just.. he likes you okay?" My eyes stare ahead, but I can't help the butterfly feeling in my chest. Does Louis actually like me? Am I looking too much into this? 

He didn't actually kiss that Stan dude or anything. Not from what I saw, they just looked like close friends. Besides, no one could kiss Lou like I do.

Pulling up to the slightly pink building that is built next to a tea shop and art studio. I look back at the group in the back seat. "You guys ready for the best ice cream ever?" 

"Fuck yeah." Is heard from Calum and   
the rest agree. This is literally the best ice cream place around town. You can't get any better than this. 

We all exit the car and I finally notice how cold it is. I also notice the Sophia slipped on leggings as well, yet Perrie still stands in her onesie. I laugh when she walks around the car and huffs. Her feet are stuffed into some furry boots. "Forgot to change?" I ask her. She rolls her eyes and starts pushing me into the ice cream parlor that is named Sweet Creature.

The rest follow and we're all swept into a smell of sweet goodness. A moan is heard from Sophia and truth be told I would have moaned as well. It smells so good in here, as it always does. It's so well lit in here, the tables are spread nicely. The menu is colorful and illuminated on the black board. 

"Hey Harold!" Is heard from behind the counter freezers. 

"Hello Gems." I say and smile. The rest stare confused. "How are you and mom?" 

"Mom? Is this your sister?" Eleanor asks and I simply nod. I might not be in touch with my parents, but Gemma always kept in touch. She always wanted what was best for me. When I found out she worked here, I always stopped by. We wouldn't really hang out outside of her job because our parents might've found out. Gemma even offered me a job here, but I declined. I know one day our mom would walk in and see me, and that would not be good. 

"Hello, nice to meet you all." Gemma smiles, her hair is a light blue today. "Mom is fine by the way and I'm surviving. I'm sure Harold annoys you as much as he annoyed me." She laughs. 

"Not at all," Perrie smiles back. "Okay maybe a little."

"Hey!" I pout but they all just laugh. "Anyways, we are here to get the best ice cream in town." Gemma smiles and nods. 

"What can I getcha?" She already has a scooper in her hand. "Our special today is the Oreo Cookie Dough, you get half off on whatever size you get it in." 

"You know, I'll get two scoops of that in a cone please." Sophia says. Luke and Calum agree. I let them all order. Perrie gets a circus animal shake and Eleanor gets a peanut butter and chocolate ice cream cone. Once they're all done I get to order. 

"As for you H, I'm assuming the regular?" Gemma says and I smile softly. She nods and walks over to the other freezers. She scoops me up some dark chocolate and mocha. 

Watching her, it makes me miss her even more. Her laugh that she'd have every morning when dad chased her. The smile she shared with my mom as they baked together. I miss all of it, I miss my parents and how much they loved each other. In the end, I am the one who chose to leave. They gave me the choice, and I picked the only person who's hurting me now. "Harry?" I blink a couple times and see my cone being handed to me. I thank Gemma and walk over to the register. 

"How much do you need?" Luke asks me while pulling out his wallet. I shake my head. 

"This is my treat, no worries." I say and the rest stare at me. "What I'm being nice?"

"Let us pay you back." Calum says and I just shake my head. 

"Don't even try to convince him, he was always like that. Good to know some things never change." Gemma smiles and looks at me. I know she misses me too. It's been a little over a year since I've been home. 

"Well thanks Tarzan, means a lot." Perrie says and leans her head on my shoulder. I just chuckle and hand Gemma a fifty. Telling her to keep the rest as a tip. She declines but I insist, she keeps it in the end. 

We say our goodbyes and the rest walk out, I tell them I'll meet them back in the car. 

"You've met knew people." Gemma states. I nod and she watches me. "They're good people, are they Nick's friends?" 

"Oh god no, I met them through a guy name Louis." I say and she nods. "I'm still with Nick if that's what you're going to ask." 

"I don't get why, he took you from us H. We miss you." She shakes her head and closes her eyes. "I don't know why you're with him in the first place." 

I take a step towards her so she can hear me better. "Don't say 'we miss you'. You know mom put this choice on me when I was only 17. She doesn't miss me, dad doesn't. You're the only one who talks to me." The words leave my mouth and I can't stop them. She can't speak for them, they could have let me stay. Yet they told me to choose. 

"Harry we didn't think you would choose him, and then you did." She sighs. "Mom didn't speak to us for a week. She locked herself up and didn't go to work." I stare at her in disbelief.

"So you're saying this is my fault?" Bringing my hands up to my hair, I tug. This is making my head hurt. They didn't think I would choose him? Did they not know I loved him? At least I thought I did. 

"No Harry, I'm not. It's just, don't say we didn't care. We did, so much H." Her eyes start to tear up and I hate myself. I never wanted to make Gemma cry. "We still do. You need to leave him, he's not good for you."

"It's easier said than done." I whisper. 

"I know, I know." She says. "This is the happiest I've seen you though, being with them. They make you happy, I'm so glad this.. Louis guy brought them into your life." I nod and lick my lips. 

"I am too, he makes me happy." 

"Then go for it, Nick can't do much when you have all of them standing behind you." She laughs as she wipes a tear. "You have mom and dad too. Especially me." 

I look up at her and she has a small smile on her face. I open my arms and she walks into them. Her head fits right under my nose, so I take a deep breath. She smells just like our house did, I miss home. 

"Thanks Gems." She just nods and I pull away. "I really got to go, it's late. When's your shift over?" 

"In ten minutes. I gotta lock up." She laughs. "I'll see you around then?"

I nod and step away. "See you, love you." 

I hear a 'love you too' as I walk out the door. 

When I get into the car it's silent. I turn to look at them with their ice creams in their hands. Perrie holds mine. "What was that about?" Sophia asks. 

"Long story short, just missed my sister." I say and take the cone from Perrie's hand. They nod as I start the car. 

"She looks exactly like you dude, it's wicked." Calum laughs and I laugh as well. We always did look alike. I sigh and turn the radio, there goes a night of me pouring my heart out.

***   
*Louis' Pov*

I can't believe he ignored me. He just walked right past me. Did he say the wind was loud? IS HE CALLING ME WIND? 

I step away from Stan as he tries pulling me closer. We're standing outside on the balcony since the smell of pot got too heavy. I didn't expect Harry to be here, I didn't expect him to have Sophia in his lap. I certainly didn't expect him to leave so suddenly either. 

Then say he's getting ice cream and not even offer. What the hell? What's going on? 

"Lou?" I shake back to reality and look at Stan. His hair is messy and he's staring at me. "You okay?"

I nod and look around. "I can't believe he did that."

"Who did what? That curly kid? What was his name again?" Stan laughs and I fight the urge to glare at him. Stan has been my best mate since childhood, but he gets on my nerves from time to time. 

"Yes the curly kid and his name is Harry." Sighing, I play with my smiley tattoo and scratch it.

"What did he do? Ignore you, Lou people have ignored you before." He says and I roll my eyes. Yeah okay people have ignored me before but they aren't Harry. No one is like Harry. 

"Stan are you trying to help?" I say sarcastically and he smiles. 

"Louis let me get your mind off of him, yeah?" He offers as his hand trials up my arm. I go to push it away but do I need to? We've done stuff before and I'm not with anyone right now. 

What about Harry?

Harry, he's with Nick. He doesn't want to start anything, we kissed a few times. So what? We had phone sex, okay and?

Yet just as Stan is leaning in for a kiss, my hand goes up and stops him. He gives me a confused look and goes for a kiss again. "Stan stop." 

"What's up now?" He breathes and steps away. "Are you really into that Harry kid?" 

I don't know. I mean, I think I am. He means a lot to me and I care about him. He isn't some ordinary guy like the rest. I've rushed things with Harry and I want that to stop. I want to be able to take him out to eat and show him off. I want to show him what actual love is. What him and I could be.

Yet today he ignored me. He didn't even smile at me. Maybe he's done with me? 

"Louis?" Stan gets my attention and I glare at him. 

"Yeah I like him." I state and Stan is glaring now. He shakes his head and laughs. 

"After all we've been through?" He asks and now I'm confused. 

"We messed around a few times and we're good friends?" I question. "That's going through a lot?" 

"Louis, I love you. You can't just leave me for some... high school freak!" Okay and so that's when my hand met with Stan's face. That's when he yelped and made Niall run out. 

"What the hell happened?" Niall asks and goes to help Stan. 

"He offended Harry." I say calmly and Niall looks at me. He laughs and shakes his head. 

"Harry has got you whipped." He grabs Stan and pulls him inside. Not before Stan looks at me and opens his mouth. 

"He won't ever love you like I do." He says. Niall looks at him and at me, and makes a what the hell face. I shrug and turn towards the balcony.

Harry is all I want right now, and Harry is what I would get.

**Author's Note:**

> Hoped you like it. I write to please the readers. This is my first work on here so I hope it goes well. You can find me on Wattpad I'm Blinded_Harry


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